My fears 

I’m afraid of not being able to live

Of having nothing in which to believe 

Note that, living is not inhaling and exhaling 

But 

Family, friendship

Laughter, love 

Praying, praising, worshipping the Lord 

He is life in it’s fullness 


I’m afraid of not being able to see color

The collage that is in life

Not because I’m blind

No

But because my existence is riddled with strife

Blinded by all the dull moments I encounter 

Made sightless from hardening my heart 

Not wanting to get up, let go, move on whenever I fall


I’m afraid of losing myself to material things 

Those that will not love me back, but will always be on my back 

Them that will cause me to be ever anxious, restless,  suspicious 

They become my little gods, a minute without them feels odd

Dead gods that offer no consolation or solution in times of confusion 


I’m afraid of living my life online

Where everything is base on lies

A world where genuine human emotions are replaced by emoticons

A combination of numbers, letters and punctuation marks 

A place of nothing but wireless connections 

And I’m left wondering why real connections are less


I’m afraid of ending up in a loveless union

One with so many unpleasant layers like an onion 

Because I lost patience

Took matters into my own hands

Found Mr. Left, forced the guy to the right

Then

My happy never after 


Im afraid of bearing children and not being able to raise them on the right foundation 

Just give them life and leave them to rot in it

Bringing forth a generation that looks at God in the rearview mirror 

One that equates love to sex

Two perfects gifts from God destroyed

Paying no mind to the consequences 


I’m afraid of death

Of dying with nothing to show for

The terror that one day my curtains will be drawn

And I will go yonder

What’s behind the curtains 

I wonder 


I’m afraid of never seeing El-Shaddai 

After I die

Of never sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to His wisdom that does not wither 

Of never singing with the angels and saints in the gardens where we shall gather 

All because I live recklessly in the smoke that is my youth 

Because I seek worldly attention 

Afraid to look uncool

Forgetting my end is nigh


Being locked out of the Golden Gates

Is my greatest fear







Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s